Rediscovering Friendship

Friendship is one of those treasures in life that often flies under the radar, quietly shaping who we are and how we grow. It's the laughter shared over a silly joke, the shoulder offered during tough times, and the cheers that celebrate our victories. But as life goes on, we sometimes find ourselves at a crossroads with those we once considered close, leading to moments of reflection and, occasionally, change. I've navigated these waters more times than I'd like to admit, discovering both the frailty and strength within these bonds.

Reflecting on one of my most significant friendship breakups during the pandemic, I've come to realize that a core reason for its demise was its foundation—or, more accurately, the lack thereof. From the outset, I never truly understood what it meant to be a friend or to love myself. My entrance into this group of friends was not at its inception but much later, leaving me feeling like an outsider trying to integrate into an already established group.

Here's a snapshot of the dynamics at play: I found myself unwittingly cast as the aggressor in a scenario where a simple comment about a weighted vest at a gym session (a ritual often practiced at the gym we visited for celebratory occasions) spiralled out of control. The suggestion, intended as light-hearted, was perceived as a wish to see a friend struggle, leading to a retaliatory move to label me unsportsmanlike if I refused a similar challenge during my birthday. This incident, though trivial on the surface, revealed the lack of genuine communication and the pettiness that underpinned our interactions—clear signs of an unhealthy connection where I was perpetually the outsider.

This incident was a wake-up call for me. It showed me the importance of clear communication and the need for a solid foundation in friendships – one that's built on mutual respect, understanding, and genuine support for one another.

In the years that followed, I was lucky enough to form new friendships that felt very different from what I had known before. These new bonds were rooted in a deep sense of mutual respect and an eagerness to support each other, no matter what. They've taught me so much about myself and have encouraged me to grow in ways I never thought possible. These friends have shown me that it's never too late to find your tribe, even in your 30s.

Through all of this, I've learned that friendships, like any relationship, need a solid foundation to thrive. Open and honest communication, a willingness to be vulnerable, and a commitment to personal growth are key. It's about more than just sharing laughs and making memories; it's about building a support system that encourages each member to be the best version of themselves.

So, as you reflect on your own friendships, consider the foundations they're built on. Are they rooted in understanding, respect, and a shared commitment to grow together? Remember, it's the quality of these connections, not the quantity, that truly enriches our lives.